I feel like not remembering,
Has made is easier to move on
I feel like not crying,
Has made it all the less painful
I feel like not knowing,
Has made it easier to forget
Maybe I’ve grown numb to the heart break
But running away from it is my only solution Continue reading
I’ll never know if I’ll ever love someone as much as I Loved You.
The way we opened to each other
Was like a never ending Story
Though it ended I still feel as if I can relive it each day.
I can jump through the pages,
Laying next to You
The crisp air
Sun shining through the windows
It’s like I never left.
Embodying timeless emotions
Traveling back through seasons but always with You
I find myself ripping through all the feelings again.
The soul aching pain.
And then it comes.
But oh the contrast
The deepest hues of all contrast
The love tearing back through me
Your hands holding my face
And the tears come
Perched upon my lip
But you tell me you love me.
You say you’ll never love anyone the way you Love Me.
You embrace me for that moment.
And here the Universe opens up
The sweet beauty of it all
Like we always were.
These endless moments
I love you
Surmised in the bleakness of abyss,
A dark thought was born.
Putting my hardened soul amiss,
My heart was entirely torn.
Knocking at my door it was You,
Waiting for me to open.
But if only I could really choose,
I was left lost, hoping.
People wonder why I hide,
In a warn bed days away.
But outside was riptide,
Waiting to be swept away.
Everything is only a reminder,
Of what real darkness is.
If only the world were kinder,
There may be true bliss.
The darkness at my door awaits,
To snicker it’s sick lies.
Fill me with a somber hate,
Breaking all love’s ties.
If only you saw the dreariness of life,
You too would run and hide.
But in this endless game of strife,
Your thoughts always decide.
I used to be deeply saddened by the things I could not control.
Routine is my enemy.
The old and reused feel like endless cycles of misery in my head.
They said find the fun, look for the beautiful.
Well that’s just it.
The beautiful is the new.
At least for me.
Something I’ve never done something I’ve never seen.
I need new everyday and every second.
I want to inhale the world and exhale the ideas.
I used to feel ashamed
For craving the newest of all experiences
But I realized there was nothing wrong with yearning the unconventional
We desire what we desire to put out
I do not desire to put out the normal
I only desire to put what hasn’t been done.
What hasn’t been made.
And what hasn’t been experience.
I am a creator
A creator that creates the New
We’re often pained by all these words
All the things that we have heard
As one thing is said
The next one’s spread
These marks we tread
Just go to the head
Out of woe we strike back
Planning our attack
We target what they lack
Until we hope, they crack
Now what? Search and destroy
These “tactics” we deploy
Centered around sorrow and hate
We push, pull, and discriminate
Adverting to their actions
We split like factions
Identifying their envy and pain
Defending ourselves in vain
In attempt for personal gain
When all it does is drain
Realize to be the change
Reactions that are not a chain
Hating haters is hating too
So really then, who are you?
I had a dream last night my mom was sober
Her face wasn’t sunken and sullen
There was authenticity in her smile
She sat next to me running her hands through my hair
Her was home.
It was safety and reassurance
I could lay forever into eternity in this moment
True endearment I felt it
“I love you.”
Then I woke up
I remembered it was just a dream
I could hear yelling outside the door
Sometimes we can’t shake the nightmare from our reality
We hide in our room hoping it would go away
We get lost in our thoughts and dreams
Escaping to far off lands in our heads
Writing stories of the could be’s and hope to be’s
Stories we prayed would become our reality
Sometimes we would run and run
Believing we could run and leave everything behind
That somewhere out there was a new beginning
A fresh start
A place where things were perfect
A place out of our stories
Then reality sets in
It’s a cold world out there
Like magnets to the problem we’re sucked back to that place
That place we call home
If only home was warm,
I’d gladly go
Sometimes our homes aren’t comforting or safe
Sometimes they’re cold and desolate
But somewhere out there, there’s many of us
Many of us who hate to be home and wish they could run forever
But remember, we are not alone
And one day we will create that perfect place for us
But for now we must be fighters
Stand up for ourselves
Pursue our dreams
Because those dreams are real
You just can’t let go of them
They’re all we have
And one day they will be our Reality
Most of the time we are judging people based on their actions
When in reality we should be based on their reactions
Sometimes we forget that we are not all the same
That people are more than just what they claim
It is beyond just a name
It is fire burning flame
That resides in each person
Deep beneath every surface